Every parent desires to have a cool-headed child. We all want our children to listen to us when we talk, don’t we? You want to have your child take to your instruction and build a life worthy of commendation.
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While some kids follow their parent’s instructions without questioning, others are contemptuous.
Yes, every parent wants a child that makes them proud at home, in the neighborhood and at school.
So much is the joy for a parent whose child takes to simple instruction both at home and at school. It is believed that such a child will grow to become the pride of their parents.
But while we all hope and work for our child to be obedient, sometimes things go the other way. There are occasions when we come face to face with a defiant child!
Who is a Defiant, Provocative, Uncooperative, Angry Child?
A defiant child is one who does the opposite of what he or she is told. This careless attitude is typical of formative child age; it how they show their desire to be independent.
Most often than not, toddlers are known for having a defiant disorder. Such kids are at the stage in their development when they begin to understand their independence. At such time, they are curious about the world around them and want to know more.
While kids may want independence, they lack the control required to manage the freedom they seek at such age. And because they do not understand the implications of their actions, the parent must help them to avoid potential dangers.
The risk of allowing a child to run freely without control is high. Therefore, parents must come up with the best parenting tactics to nip defiant tendencies in the bud.
However, parents must apply caution to avoid creating imbalances in their developmental processes.
Types of Defiant, Provocative, Uncooperative, Angry Child Behaviors
Ordinarily, a defiant disorder in child should not cause you to worry as that is a way kids grow, but psychologically, you should.
This is because the child behavioral experts identified two types of deviant behaviors that may require more urgent attention than you think.
These child behavioral disorders include Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) and Attention Deficient Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). ODD and ADHD are behavioral and mood disorders causing kids to defy instructions with hard time coexisting with fellow children.
Although dwelling, in-depth, into the two types of child defiant behaviors above are beyond the scope of this discussion.
However, you may further your study on the subjects for better understanding. Doing this will create required awareness about them and help you in handling your defiant child tendencies.
Symptoms of ODD and ADHD
You need to watch your child present at least four of these behaviors to consider ODD and ADHD behavioral solution:
- Highly temperamental
- Touch and easy to annoy
- Uncontrolled anger and resentment
- Argumentative and contemptuous
- Blame game to evade responsibility
- Vindictive action
- A deliberate act of annoying others
How to Handle a Defiant, Provocative, Uncooperative, Angry Child
While the causes of ODD are not clearly understood, the child behavioral development stages are causal to rebellious kids.
For this reason, there are different parenting tactics for controlling a child that has a defiant disorder.
Before you think your child is abnormal, know that such an attitude in kids is purely rational. Hence, parents should develop the right approach to help their kids live through it and become the better person you seek.
I should say from the onset that there is no universally recommended type of approach for handling challenging child behavior. The reality of each parent should dictate the path to take.
However, there are suggestions from child behavior professionals on positive ways to react to a child disobedience habit.
Be Friendly When They Erred
Kids love toys! While parents struggle to get them so the child can be happy, they can be angry when the same toys in being destroyed by the child. But at times, what may look like a deliberate act of destruction is just a curiosity out of leaning.
When your child is in the habit of throwing his toys like a ball, handle it with care. Don’t jump out of your seat as if the world is about to collapse.
Yes, I know how tough it is to make money. Try to be careful about how you get him to stop throwing his toys; please don’t yell. There are other ways to handle a defiant disorder.
Strategy:
Do advice parents to start their kids with the best educational toys at their young age. Check out my Experts guide to choose and use the best Electric Scooter for kids. The guide provides the starting point for selecting the best educational toys for your kids.
When kids have the best toys for their age, they won’t throw it away or ruin it in frustration.
Be Calm When he Does the Opposite of What You Say
If you look back to when you are growing, you should recall instances of your defiance too. Apology if that seems harsh or insensitive, but I want to be sincere here.
No adult can say without any iota of contradiction that they never disobeyed their parents when growing up. We all did, and now it’s your child’s turn.
Before you lose your composure, remember that your child is an independent entity, just like you.
Only and the best way kids know to protest the feeling of a lack of control is to go against you in some issues. Instead of stamping your authority as a parent, take a step back and examine what could be wrong.
In so doing, I have realized so many times where I got it wrong and apologized to my child.
Strategy:
If you found you are at fault; you could go a step further to compensate him with a beautiful gift. But do make the gift something he would enjoy, like a cool toy to rock his day.
How about Kids Battery Powered Remote Control Battery Powered RC Ride On Car? Gifting your kid the best electric toy cars as this would reinforce the bonds between you. The remote control toy cars mean you can play with your kid and win his trust.
Empathize with a defiant child
As I mentioned earlier, we all have different realities according to our background. The same applies to children, and you need to put their individuality into consideration when handling a defiant child.
Could the child be used to adults telling him what to do all the time without regard to his feelings?
If this is the case; his defiance could be as a result of his experience. The best way to handle such a kid, and every defiant child, is to empathize with them.
Try to understand the cause of their defiance and take appropriate measure to solve the problem.
Strategy:
Time with a defiant child could help you discover his or her challenges the more. My approach to handling rebellious kids is to find time play with him and get to know him or her more.
Of course, I know that every child love toys, what you need to do is get the one best suitable for them.
Kids five years and above, by best connection is a flying toy; yes, there are cool drones that could afford you a playtime of more than 20 minutes with your child. Check my review of Best Drone for Child to choose the one you like most.
Drones are amazing playtime gadget for children and adults, and you will enjoy the cordial moment to earn his trust.
Take action
Anytime your child acted in a challenging way, instead of reacting to his action by yelling, take action to remedy the problem. For instance, your kid throws his toys in a manner that may destroy it, don’t scream!
Pick up the toy and keep it away. After you have prevented the damage, wait for a moment for him to calm down before addressing the issue.
Could be that he doesn’t need the toy or like it. Maybe he needs your attention with something; anything that may be the issue, sort it out with him.
Taking action doesn’t mean you support his action, but you are simply telling him he has his voice.
Strategy:
It is always my recommendation that parents buy the toys their kids most loved. I have eight years old who loved PlayStation, when purchasing the gadget, I involved him in selecting the best version he loved.
I suggest you let your child choose the toys they love such that you can leverage on the toy to get him to behave!
I have spent countless time reviewing the best electronic and educational toys for kids, you could check here for best electric toys for your child.
Conclusion
Carrot and stick correctional approach to deviant behavior is one of the best steps parents take to handle a defiant child.
Before you conclude that your child has ODD or ADHD behavioral disorder, you should first explore the usual correctional approach above.
In most cases, your child’s disobedience is telling you they need you to listen. And please do not ignore the opportunity to make things right between you.
If you treat it as a problem, it might unconsciously become one. It is better to avoid fire than having to put out the fire in an avoidable inferno!
I know how traumatizing child defiance can be for parents; I found this resource, and this on ODD, I hope you will find them helpful.
This article was about handling a defiant disorder child, I hope you found it useful. Thank you!
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